


Living out of Water: Squidward's story

by TheUltimateCombo



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 02:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3592170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUltimateCombo/pseuds/TheUltimateCombo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Squidward is 25 and living above water in rainy Seattle, along with the rest of the Spongebob crew. What awaits this cephalopod as he lives life on the surface?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting Her

The rain was barreling down as Squidward made his way to work by bike. He had been living above the surface, in Seattle, for the past four months. In fact, most of the people from Bikini Bottom had come to live life above the water. Seattle was the perfect place in reality - it rained so much that you would hardly notice the change.

Being in a new place meant new laws, new people, and new jobs. So Squidward had to find a job in his new home. Since his high school diploma was not valid, above seas laws and such, the only job he was able to attain was a cashier at a McDonald's, at least until he could get his new diploma. As if by bad luck, Spongebob had found the same job, and had already pioneered a new menu item: the Krabby Patty.

Squidward pulled up into the parking lot and parked his bike. He sauntered inside, and pulled off his raincoat. He walked in behind the counter, and took his place at the register, dressed in his uniform. He looked around and saw no customers. He breathed a sigh.

"Hey Squidward!" Spongebob shouted. Squidward cringed as Spongebob grabbed him in a shoulder hug. "Tentacles! How's my best man?"

Squidward scoffed.

"So, got your diploma yet?" Spongebob asked.

"Nope, not yet." the squid briefly replied.

"Well, I'm taking night classes at the local high school, you should join me! Even Patrick's doing it!" SpongeBob offered.

Squidward shrugged. Spongebob broke out a pen and paper and wrote down an address and a time. Spongebob handed him the paper. As Squidward looked it over, he read it aloud, "Middletown High school, 6:00. What is this for?"

Spongebob broke into his signature laugh. "Just check it out tonight and see if you like it! You'll learn so much!"

Squidward looked at the paper again. He rubbed his chin, and pocketed the paper as the first customer came in.

-Breakline-

Squidward made his way to the high school that evening, checking his watch as he ran a couple minutes late. He rushed into the high school at top speed (he was a sprinter back when he was in high school), quickly dashing through hallways until he found the class. As he entered, a tall man who was probably in his forties turned to look at the newcomer. He had round glasses and black hair, which was thinning. He wore a light blue dress shirt, and dark grey slacks, with a white dress coat.

"Ah, you must be Mr. Squarepants' friend! Please take a seat!" The man greeted.

Squidward nodded, and made his way into the back of the class. He looked around at the people there. He spotted Spongebob and Patrick, of course, and he saw a few fish people. Then he looked at the humans, a few of them seemed surprisingly young to be there, those that were about Squidward's age, twenty-five and older. He was tapped on the shoulder by a girl sitting next to him, who whispered, "Do you need books?" seeing as how Squidward had come to class, empty handed.

"I guess." Squidward replied. The girl motioned him to scoot closer, and Squidward complied.

"You can share with me," the girl offered. She was about a year younger than Squidward, with long blonde tresses that reached her shoulder. She positioned her books so that they could both see them comfortably, and with that, the lesson went on.

When class was over, Squidward turned to the girl, "Thanks for sharing your books."

"No problem!" She replied. "By the way, my name's Alaxis." She stretched out her hand.

"I'm Squidward. Nice to meet you." Squidward shook her hand. The girl smiled, and then said, "Well, I'll see you around." With that, she left.

"Mister Tentacles, a word." The teacher called. Squidward made his way to the desk at the front of the class.

"Mr. Dravo?" Squidward asked. Mr. Dravo pulled out a stack of books featuring various subjects.

"These are your textbooks." The teacher smiled. "Do you need a bag?"

"Please. I biked here." Squidward replied.

Mr. Dravo then said, "Here's a backpack. I keep spares incase one of my students forgets his books."

"Thank you sir!" Squidward said, before piling the books into the bag.

"See you tomorrow, Squidward." Mr. Dravo said. With that, Squidward took his leave.

-Breakline-

It was the lunch rush at McDonald's. People were coming from the drive through, and through both entrances. Squidward was busy taking everyone's orders, as he was the only one working the front register.

At least humans are more patient than fish, Squidward thought. In the back, Spongebob was using eight hands to keep up with the influx of orders, not once breaking a sweat. As the line ended, the girl Squidward met the night before came up to the register. Squidward blinked before recognizing her.

"Oh. Hey! How are ya?" Squidward greeted.

"I'm great. Fancy meeting you here!" She replied.

"Well, I work here, embarrassingly." Squidward replied, silently adding that last part. "So, what'll you have?"

"I guess I'll try the 'Krabby Patty', a small fry, and a medium coke." She said. Squidward punched in the order on the POS system, before replying, "That'll be $5.12."

As she paid, Squidward sent the order to the back.

"It should only take a minute." Squidward said. The girl nodded. Squidward stood silently for a few seconds, just tapping the counter. Just make light, Squiddy, he thought.

"So um, pretty standard weather we're having, huh?" Squidward asked. He mentally face palmed.

"Yeah, pretty much." She replied.

"Don't think I've seen a sunny day in the few months I've been here." Squidward chuckled. Double facepalm.

"Well, that's Seattle." She smiled.

"You said your name was Alaxis, right?" Squidward nervously said. Please let that be right!

"Yeah, but you can call me Lax. Your name's Squidward, correct?" Alaxis responded.

"The one and only!" Squidward proudly said. Just then Spongebob arrived with her order.

"Krabby Patty, small fry?" He called out.

"Right here!" Alaxis raised her hand.

"Enjoy Ma'am!" Spongebob handed her the bag. Alaxis grabbed it and went to leave before saying, "Oh wait, my cup!"

"Oops!" Squidward said, grabbing a medium sized cup. "My bad."

"So I'll see you later?" Alaxis asked.

"Sure will. Have a nice day." Squidward said.

"You too!" She grabbed her drink and left.

When she was gone, Squidward spun around sat on the floor, back to the register. Spongebob looked as Alaxis left with an amused face.

"Who was she?" He asked simply.

"I met her in class last night. She shared her books with me." Squidward replied.

"I see." Spongebob replied. "Get back to work now, Tentacles," he ordered, a hint of amusement evident in his voice.

Squidward ran a hand over his face, and got up. What was that, Squiddy? He asked himself mentally. He shook it off, and was ready to continue his day.

-Breakline-

After work he decided to bike through the park, to clear his mind. He stopped at a lonely bench in the middle of the park, in front of a big tree that stood near a water fountain. He sat on the bench and grabbed his backpack. He pulled out a sketchpad and a pencil, and just sat there for a while, looking at the tree that stood before him.

He flipped open his pad, and began to meticulously sketch out his surroundings. Every line, every detail, was carefully arranged in pencil. After about an hour, he had completely replicated the scene in front of him, and Squidward was proud.

His put away his pad and pencil, and got back on his bike. He then peddled away to his apartment. When he got off of his bike, he was greeted by one of his human neighbors and friends, Luke.

"Hey Squidward! What've you been up to?" Luke greeted.

"Hey Luke." Squidward replied. "I was just riding through the park. What about you? Have you done anything interesting lately?"

"My band's performing at the Rec Center tomorrow. Will you be there?"

"I'll try to make it. See ya later, Luke." Squidward said, going inside the building.

"See ya."

Squidward entered his apartment and sighed. His pad was medium sized, with two bedrooms, a bathroom, a decent sized living room, a kitchen, and a dining room. The walls and carpet were a light grey color, which was nicely highlighted when the sky outside was grey. Squidward's apartment was also placed to the front of the building, allowing him to have a patio. He set down his backpack and pulled out his sketchpad and pencil, afterwards going to sit down at the dining room table.

For a while he sketched random things, like the tables at McDonald's, Spongebob in his uniform, and anything that popped into his head. As a part time gig, Squidward made copies and sold his sketches at the Rec Center sometimes. A lot of people enjoyed his work; he wondered why no one in Bikini Bottom ever appreciated his work.

As he thought about this, he mindlessly sketched the girl he had met last night. By the time his mind was back on track, he was finished, and looked surprised at his new sketch. His clock chimed, and he realized that he had to get to class soon. He closed the sketchpad and went to change out of his McDonald's uniform.

-Breakline-

He barreled into Middletown High, hurrying to get to class. He reached just as the lesson was beginning, and sighed with relief. He took an empty seat next to Spongebob, and got out his books. Spongebob nodded at his arrival, and Squidward returned it. After about fifteen minutes of learning about the Indo Valley civilization, Patrick strolled in.

"Mister Star, you are late," Mr. Dravo said, slightly agitated.

"Sorry teach, I lost track of time," Patrick said as he strolled to the back of the classroom.

"Make sure it doesn't happen again." Mr. Dravo stated.

"It won't." Patrick confirmed.

Squidward took a glance at Patrick. The starfish wore a black baseball cap that was on backwards, with an open black leather jacket. He had on a dark grey sweater, and he wore blue jeans. Squidward wondered why Patrick would dress like the stereotypical "Bad boy", but decided to focus on history instead.

At the end of class, as Squidward walked out, Alaxis caught his attention.

"Oh hi Alaxis!" Squidward greeted with a smile.

"Hey! So, what've you been up to?" She asked.

"Well, I've been doing sketches, recently." Squidward said, a little unsure on how this conversation would turn out.

"Oh, you're an artist?" Alaxis asked, perking up with interest.

"Kind of. I sell my sketches at the Rec Center sometimes, in fact, I'll be there tomorrow." Squidward continued.

"Cool. I guess I'll see you there!" Alaxis said walking off.

"What? Why?" Squidward asked, confused.

"Cause, I want to see what you can do! See ya later!" She said as she left.

"Bye." Squidward replied. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Spongebob.

"She seems nice. It would be nice for you to have more human friends." He said. "I'll see ya at the Rec Center tomorrow."

As soon as Spongebob left, Squidward felt a heavy hand pat his back. Patrick.

"Squiddy my man, you know how to get 'em! Can I ask for tips?" Patrick asked. Squidward raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Patrick, go home." Squidward said as he left.

-Breakline-

Squidward lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling. Spongebob was right, he could use more friends. He thought about it. Maybe this is a good thing, he thought to himself. He reached over, and turned off the lamp.


	2. The Rec Center

Squidward awoke with a start at 5:35, a whole half hour later than he normally got up. He rushed to get his uniform on, mentally cursing himself for sleeping so long. The four legged cephalopod raced out of his apartment and onto his bike, pulling out of the apartment complex, and hitting the road.

It was an exceptionally rainy day. A thunderstorm had hit Seattle early that morning, and the remnants of rain that trailed behind it were still falling. Squidward sighed as he was pounded by rain, struggling to focus on where he was going. He eventually saw the bright yellow M that signified his workplace. He pulled into the parking lot of McDonald's, and hastily parked his bike, dashing inside the restaurant.

"Squidward, you're late." Spongebob said a little worried.

"I just over slept a little." Squidward replied, rubbing his neck with his left tentacle. As Spongebob moved to the back, the door opened to reveal a customer, and Squidward groaned.

A slim guy of about thirty-five walked inside, dressed in a black leather jacket, and black leather pants. He wore shades which perfectly hid his eyes from view. He chewed on a toothpick and looked around. He walked up to the counter, and Squidward asked, "May I take your order?"

"Sure thing," the guy came closer. "Why don't you go take a hike?" The guy pointed his thumb behind him. Squidward raised an eyebrow and straitened his posture.

"Excuse me?" Squidward asked.

"I ordered you to take a hike, freak!" The guy snapped.

"Sorry to disappoint, but I work here, and I'm not leaving." Squidward replied smugly.

Spongebob came back to the counter, a mop in his hands.

"Sir," he started. "Is there a problem here?"

The guy snapped his head to look at Spongebob, and growled silently. "You're darn right there's a problem! You freaks are the problem!"

The man moved to jump the counter, when another worker came from the back. He was tall with a little bit of muscle. He was black with black hair and brown eyes. The worker took a stand behind Spongebob, and the customer rethought his planned attack.

"You freaks will get yours!" He shouted, running out of the door.

"Thanks Lenny." Spongebob said to the worker behind him. Lenny nodded, and went back inside. As he went back to mopping, Spongebob said, "He's just one of those Anti-Fish protestors, nothing to worry about."

"'Nothing to worry about'!?" Squidward asked in disbelief. "That guy was ready to beat us into next week!"

"Squidward," Spongebob cut him off. "It's nothing to worry about."

Squidward looked out into the empty restaurant, and rubbed his hand over his face. He decided not to worry about the crazy customer, but he would be more careful around the city from then on.

-Breakline-

When Squidward got off of work, he peddled away to his apartment, to gather some sketches for him to sell at the Rec Center. When he walked inside, he made his way over to the printer, and grabbed his sketch pad, copying various sketches he had made, such as his newest masterpiece, the tree in the center of the park.

When he was finished, he put his sketches in his backpack and left his apartment. He peddled through downtown Seattle, spotting various little shops and restaurants. In the distance he saw the giant needle that was a defining aspect of Seattle. Like the Sea Needle in Bikini Bottom, it had an alien look to it, sending chills down the squid's spine. He continued his way to the Rec Center.

When he got there, only a few people were there, he spotted a couple of fish there, with a few normal people scattered around. The Rec Center was an adequately sized building, with a large area filled with metal chairs. It had windows on all sides, and it had various open rooms. It also had multiple floors. However, Luke and his band were on the first floor, so Squidward decided to set up there. Squidward went to talk with the staff about his art booth, then set up shop. He had about fifteen copies of each of his sketches. His tree sketch was named A Wise Being, given the age of the tree. His sketch of McDonald's was dubbed A Look Through an Employee's Eyes. It was a long name, but he figured it was a good representation of what the piece was about.

As he named and displayed his various works of the past month, he picked up the sketch he had drawn of Alaxis. He stuck his mouth out to one side, cupping his chin with a tentacle as he debated over what to name it. He settled on A Person, and decided not to sell the sketches, but instead, he would put the original on display in his booth. He sat down and looked around once again. Luke and his band, The Great Whites, hadn't arrived yet. His mind began to think about that for a while.

Luke Sky, Squidward's neighbor and only current human friend, was a talented guitarist, and he enjoyed covering various rock songs with his friends-slash-band-mates, The Great Whites. The band was named such to pay tribute to the ocean home most new Seattleites had long left behind. Squidward wondered what songs they would cover today.

He was broken out of his thought train when he heard someone tapping on his table. Squidward shook his head and took a glance at the person. It was Spongebob.

"Hey Squidward!" He greeted.

"Hey." Squidward replied.

"Are these the new sketches?" Spongebob asked, picking one up.

"Yep. Most of these were just made yesterday." Squidward informed, beaming proudly.

"You have a gift man." Spongebob said. "I'm gonna go look around. I'll catch ya later!"

"Not with a net I hope!" Squidward chuckled at his own bad joke as Spongebob walked away.

As soon as Spongebob was gone, Patrick walked up.

"Hey Squidward! What's going on?" Patrick greeted. The starfish was wearing the same getup that he was the night before, except that this time, he wore a grey shirt that had "SEATTLE" on it in bold lettering, with the "A" made to look like the Space Needle.

"Hey Patrick. Come to buy some art?" Squidward asked, perking up with interest. "It's only five bucks a sketch!"

"Sorry, but I left my wallet home." Squidward's face drooped. "Maybe next time, though!" Patrick said as he sauntered off.

Squidward mumbled under his breath, and waited for the next person to walk by.

-Breakline-

After an hour, Luke and his friends had arrived, and were currently playing "House of the Rising Sun" to get warmed up. Squidward had been getting his sketches sold, and had already made over a hundred dollars. He had been looking at all of the people coming and had not spotted Alaxis yet. He was beginning to get disappointed when he heard someone say, "Is that me?"

His head snapped in the direction of the person who had suddenly appeared at his table. It was Alaxis.

"Oh, hey! Yeah, it's you." Squidward said.

"You did… really well!" She smiled at the drawing. "Mind if I sit next you?" She asked.

"I don't mind at all." Squidward replied, quickly grabbing a chair for her to sit in. She thanked him and sat down.

"So, how's your day been?" Squidward asked. Just make light Squiddy.

"Pretty good. How's yours been?" She replied.

"This crazy guy came into work this morning, but it was nothing. My day's actually been pretty average." Squidward stated. A customer came by with a grin on his face, exclaiming, "Oh my God! Are you Squidward Tentacles?"

"The one and only!" Squidward replied proudly.

"I am such a fan of your work," the guy said, grabbing a sketch of Squidward's that was in his pocket. "Can I get an autograph please?"

"Sure thing!" Squidward broke out his pen and wrote his name. The guy thanked him, and then bought three new pieces of work off of Squidward, who thanked him for the purchase.

"Wow!" Alaxis said as the guy left. "You must be famous or something!"

"I just do what I love." Squidward told her.

"You know, I could get used to hanging out with a celebrity!" She smiled.

"Really?" Squidward asked surprised.

"Yeah, we're friends right?" Alaxis asked.

"Um, I guess." Squidward replied.

"So then, we can hang out together!" She said. Squidward just nodded at that.

The rest of the evening went well, Luke and his band blew the socks off of the audience, and Squidward had made a pretty penny. As he got up, he told Alaxis, "I guess I'll see you next week, then."

"I guess so. See you later!" She said, grabbing her things and leaving.

"Bye!" Squidward gathered his display pieces and the copies that hadn't been sold and piled them into his backpack. He walked up to Luke, who was helping the band gather their equipment. "Hey Luke," he started, handing Luke a hundred dollars. "This is a donation. Keep up the good work!"

"Ah, thanks man!" Luke shook his hand and pulled him into a hug. "Have a good one."

As Squidward made his way to leave, he found Spongebob.

"See ya later Spongebob!"

"Well, you're in a good mood!" Spongebob said. Squidward paused.

"I have been in a good mood lately, haven't I?" Squidward mused. Spongebob started walking with him, saying, "I see you and Alaxis are getting along well."

"Well, we're friends now. I guess that's to be expected!" Squidward beamed.

"'Friends', huh?" Spongebob asked, amused.

"Yep!" Squidward then stopped and grabbed Spongebob. "Spongebob, she said that she wants to hang out with me!"

Spongebob raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Going a bit fast, aren't we Squiddy?"

"Quit joking around! I want to know some things that we could do together!" Squidward said.

"You mean like a date?" Spongebob asked his eyebrow still raised.

"No! Not like a date! I don't want to come off weird! Just, something we can go to together, or some activity we could do! Like bowling or something." Squidward clarified.

Spongebob put a hand to his chin and thought for a moment. "Well, there's going to be a carnival in town next week, and the forecast actually predicts grey skies without rain! Sandy, Patrick, and I were planning on going. You could take her there!"

"Thanks Spongebob! I'll see you later!" Squidward said, rushing out the door.

"See ya." Spongebob replied, thinking for a moment, then slowly making his way outside.


	3. The Carnival

Sunday was Squidward's day off, and it doubled as grocery day. Squidward wasn't really a religious person, but he had his principles, and he felt that he didn't really need church (yes, there were churches in Bikini Bottom), so his Sunday was better spent grocery shopping. Squidward compiled a list of things he needed and got ready to head out. He decided to call up Spongebob in order to get a ride to the store.

"Hello?" Spongebob answered.

"Hey Spongebob, are ya busy right now?" Squidward asked. He mentally considered taking the bus instead.

"Um, no… What's up?"

"I need a ride to the grocery. Could you provide that service?" Squidward petitioned.

"Sure thing. I'll be there in about half an hour." Spongebob replied.

"Okay. I'll see you then." Squidward hung up.

-Breakline-

Squidward and Spongebob entered the store together, as Spongebob needed to pick up some things as well. The sea sponge wore a grey sweater with dark blue jeans, while Squidward wore his signature shirt, but with brown pants, which had four holes to accommodate all of his legs. Squidward grabbed a cart and made his way into the produce section. He surveyed the bright array of fruits and vegetables: carrots, celery, kale, apples, bananas, and the like. He had gathered quite a few items when he walked into the next aisle, which stocked bread and candies.

As he surveyed the selection of breads, he reached for the pumpernickel, and his hand met another's reaching for the same loaf. It was Alaxis.

"Oh hey!" Squidward greeted. 'Oh great' he mentally deadpanned.

"Hi." Alaxis replied. "So um, you like pumpernickel bread?"

"Only type I eat!" Squidward said. They shuffled awkwardly for a bit, with Squidward mentally screeching at the cheesiness of the situation. Suddenly, he remembered the carnival Spongebob had told him about.

"There's a carnival in town next Saturday, and the forecast promises good weather. Maybe we could meet up there and spend the day together. As friends." Squidward said, still feeling weird about the conversation.

"Oh, that sounds pretty cool!" Alaxis said, perking up. "I guess we'll see each other there. I mean, it would be nice seeing each other outside the classroom!"

"Yeah, and we really need to stop meeting like this." Squidward added. "So, how about exchanging phone numbers? I mean, we're friends right? We can call each other!" Squidward kept wondering why he was putting so much emphasis on the word "friends". He didn't ponder it long, as Alaxis agreed and they exchanged numbers. They went their separate ways again, and Squidward was really beginning to think about his life. But, he shook it off, and continued grocery shopping.

-Breakline-

During the ride home, Spongebob started to converse.

"So, anything new happen since yesterday?"

"I met her today." Squidward replied. Spongebob raised an eyebrow and went, "Oh."

"We seem to meet at the strangest times!" Squidward then exclaimed. "First in class, then at work, then here! All by coincidence."

"That sounds… exciting." Spongebob said. "So did you guys talk about anything?"

"I asked her about the carnival." Squidward replied.

"What's did she say?"

"That she'll meet me there, and then we exchanged phone numbers." Squidward said.

The car came screeching to a halt as the light hit red. Spongebob turned to look at Squidward.

"What?" Squidward asked. Spongebob smirked. "What?"

"What indeed, Squidward. What indeed." Spongebob started to drive as the light turned back to green.

-Breakline-

That week had gone by super fast, and before Squidward could spin around, it was Saturday. He got off of work before twelve, same as Spongebob, and went to his apartment to change clothes. After that was done, he peddled relentlessly towards the carnival site. It was quite on the other side of town, and so it was quite a ways by bike. On his way there, he stopped by a florist, spotting a beautiful bouquet of Marigolds, Roses, and Daisies. He figured that Alaxis might like it, and so he bought it, then continued on his way.

It was half past one when he arrived, and to his surprise, people were just starting to show up. He saw parents and children, both fish and regular people, and he took notice of all the lights and rides. Booths for games like Knock over the bottles, balloon darts, and ring toss, were set up in a line running straight down the main "road" of the carnival, on both sides, with each booth a rusty red and gold color.

There was a balloon cart stationed by the entrance, ran by the orange fish that used to sell balloons in Bikini Bottom. Squidward looked around for a moment, wondering if Alaxis had already arrived. He figured that she would've waited for him. He glanced at his watch, and then looked back into the crowd. He looked at all the neon lights, the mini-roller coasters, and the rides that went high up in the air. He gulped at one particularly high ride. He hoped she wouldn't want to go on that one. Well, she could go, but he wouldn't be around.

"Hey Squidward!" Squidward turned to the sound of the voice. It was Spongebob. He and Patrick were wearing matching black leather jackets, with jeans, and the same "SEATTLE" shirt Squidward had seen Patrick wearing at the Rec Center last week. Patrick wore a baseball cap, which was backwards, and Spongebob wore a cap too, the normal way.

"Where's Sandy?" Squidward asked.

"She's parking the car. Who're the flowers for?" Spongebob asked.

'Meddlesome freak', Squidward cursed. "Someone I'm meeting here."

"You mean Alaxis?" Patrick piped up. 'Crap, why did I say that?' Squidward mentally screamed.

"Squidward?" Spongebob started, but Squidward cut him off.

"I just thought these flowers were nice, so I'm giving them to her. As a gift. From a friend." Squidward scolded. When Spongebob made move to speak, Squidward said, "Look, just go somewhere else! I don't want you around to spoil this!"

Spongebob motioned for Patrick, and the two walked away. Squidward sighed; they were out of his hair. He continued standing around for a little while, looking at his watch a few more times before sighing in disappointment.

"I knew this was too good to be true. Nothing in my life ever pans out." Squidward was ready to leave when he heard, "Oh hey! I'm sorry I'm late!"

He turned to look at Alaxis as she ran up. She stared at the flowers wide-eyed.

"Are those flowers for me?" She asked.

"Flowers?" Squidward asked, then looked in his hand. "Oh yeah! Here you go."

Alaxis took the flowers with a "thank you", and smelled them, closing her eyes as she took in the aroma.

"I hope you like them." Squidward said nervously.

"Marigolds are my favorites! Thank you so much!" Alaxis replied. "Well, um, I guess we should start enjoying the carnival!"

"What do you mean?" Squidward asked. Instead of a response, Alaxis took his hand and lead him around the carnival. The first booth they went up to was the classic milk bottles game. A purple fish with a black back fin was the vendor for the game (A/N: I don't know what they're called really). He had a grin which grew when Squidward put a dollar on the table. Three balls were placed on the counter, and Squidward picked up one.

"Three shots good sir. Good luck!" The fish said slyly.

"I know how to beat this game." Squidward said, winding up the pitch, and throwing the ball, absolutely shattering the glass bottle formation. The purple fish nervously handed Squidward a pink teddy bear, which Squidward gave to Alaxis, who giggled at the purple fish's expression, which was one of disbelief.

"Um, Alaxis," Squidward started as they walked off. "Is there like a nickname or something I can call you?"

"I told you that you can call me Lax. Most people do." She said, cuddling her new teddy.

"Oh right. I forgot." Squidward said, having no clue about when she said that. "So, Lax, what do you want to do next?"

Alaxis looked around at the different rides, noticing a mini coaster that looked like a Chinese Dragon.

"How about that one?" She asked, pointing to the ride. Squidward put on a look that asked, 'what're you, twelve?' but he went along with it.

They paid the five dollars that allowed them to get on the ride, and Squidward could tell that he would be bored. That is until the ride actually started moving. Lax shouted with joy along with the rest of the passengers, while Squidward was hanging on as tightly as humanly possible. The coaster went around the track five times before finally slowing down and stopping. Squidward was surprised that Lax still had her flowers and bear, he had almost been certain that they wouldn't survive.

-Breakline-

After a few more carnival games, Squidward asked, "So what do you wanna do now?"

Alaxis' stomach growled, and Squidward's followed suit. "I think we have our answer!" She smiled.

"So, what's there to eat here?" Squidward asked.

"Have you ever had Elephant Ears?" Lax asked.

"Why would I want to eat the ear off of an elephant?" He replied, which resulted in a giggle fit from Alaxis. "What's so funny?"

"Just follow me!" She told him, still trying to conceal her laughter, which left Squidward utterly confused.

When they had reached the place that sold Elephant Ears, Alaxis ordered two.

"Why are you ordering two? I don't want on-oomph!" Squidward shouted as the pastry was shoved into his mouth.

"Just shut up and try it!" Alaxis said smiling as Squidward chewed the foreign object. Cinnamon sugar and hot bread coated his tongue, and he smiled in pure satisfaction. He devoured the entire pastry in no time flat, and Alaxis giggled at his reaction.

"Okay, I admit, that tastes pretty good!" Squidward said, once again finding that he was jolly. That puzzled him, what was he so darn happy about? He attributed it to the food, and they continued to experience the carnival.

-Breakline-

At last the time came for everyone to go home. Alaxis and Squidward made their way towards the exit, which was the same as the entrance. Alaxis said to Squidward,

"So, this was a pretty good first date." She smirked. Squidward went wide eyed in alarm.

"A date? I didn't mean to come off weird! I just like you!" Squidward mentally face palmed. What am I saying?

"I know. I kinda like you too!" Alaxis replied leaving Squidward lightly blushing and confused.

"I'll see you later!" She said in farewell, going to her car. Squidward blinked slowly and said in return, "See ya."

It all started to make sense now: His different attitude, his jolly mood. It was why he had bought the flowers and hadn't noticed. It was why he had sketched her and didn't realize. It was why he acted weirdly around her.

He needed to think this through.

It was a miracle that he didn't get himself killed on his way back home, as his mind kept wandering back to Alaxis. What if he liked her? What if she liked him? Squidward's brain was coming up with every type of question imaginable. He eventually reached his apartment and walked inside. He turned on the TV and sat on his couch. On the Food Channel, the lady was making a "romantic meal for two". Squidward changed the channel almost instantly. On the Movie Network, a romance film was on. Squidward slightly sulked in fear as life was taunting him. He flipped through all the channels he could, and everything was wedding this, romance that. Squidward found it eerily similar to the time Spongebob and Patrick had gotten the Idiot Box, as he so cleverly dubbed it.

He eventually turned off the TV entirely. He started to pace.

'Alright Squidward, think! You like her, right? That's not weird, it's normal! But she's a human! But you guys are just friends right? But she thinks tonight was a date! Get a grip, Tentacles! But I can't! I might be in love with this girl and I can't stop myself!'

Squidward took a beat at that last thought. He walked over to his computer and booted it up. He googled "How to tell if you're in love" and looked at several websites. He started to get a queasy feeling in his stomach. 'Oh no.'

'What's happening to me?'


	4. Awkwardness in a clam shell

That Monday at work, Squidward had trouble keeping his focus. Spongebob, being the good friend that he was in addition to being the assistant manager, was concerned for Squidward. He walked over to the front counter, where the squid was shaking slightly. Spongebob put a hand on the squid's shoulder. Squidward jumped and spun around.

"Squidward, are you alright?" Spongebob asked. When Squidward sighed he said, "Take a break Squiddy."

Squidward complied, and Spongebob told someone to get the counter. Squidward sat down in the back and Spongebob asked, "What's up man?"

"Spongebob, I'm confused!" Squidward said, and he wondered why he was coming to Spongebob of all people.

"About what?" Spongebob folded his arms and leaned on the wall. Maybe this would be easy.

"I think I love somebody, but I don't know if they love me back." Squidward replied.

"Well, I love lots of people. It doesn't matter if they don't love me back." Spongebob replied, which lead to Squidward putting on a disgusted face. Spongebob's face went blank, and he added, "Not that kind of love, huh?"

Squidward sighed again, and rubbed a tentacle over his face.

"Who is she?" Spongebob asked, smirking. Squidward shook his head, and Spongebob pried, "Come on! Tell me! Who's the lucky lady?"

"It's," Squidward began, and Spongebob's smirked changed into a smile. "It's Alaxis."

Spongebob's brain took a minute to click, and then his face went from a smile, to shock, to bewilderment.

"Uh, Squid?" Spongebob asked.

"And I know it's weird! It's probably the most awful thing!" Squidward then slapped himself. "You see, Spongebob? I'm losing myself!"

"Get a grip, Tentacles! Where's that confident, 'screw the world' Squidward that I've come to know?" Spongebob asked, getting into his pep talk voice.

Squidward took that in for a moment. Where was his usual self? Squidward decided that he should take these newfound feelings in stride. Sure they were different, but maybe it could work! Squidward said this to Spongebob, and once again his friend's face became confused.

"Okay, so you actually like this girl?" Spongebob asked. Squidward nodded profusely. Spongebob then whispered, "But she's a – and you're a –"

"Yeah, but look at you and Sandy!" Squidward defended. Spongebob and Sandy were Bikini Bottom's "it couple" back when everyone lived below the water. They were progressive in many ways imaginable, such as being the first couple to be of different species and soon after, Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff had started dating. Squidward didn't know why Spongebob of all people would be against his feelings. Spongebob ran a hand over his face and thought. He grabbed Squidward by the shoulder, and led him outside.

"Why are we out here?" Squidward didn't get a response. Instead, Spongebob simply said, "It's not the same."

"You're darn right it's not. Wait a minute…"

"Below water, we're all just sentient beings trying to get along with each other. It's not weird for two fish of different species to be together, it happens all the time. When Sandy came, people talked. 'Oh look at the new know-it-all!' Then we started dating, and people wanted to drown her!" Spongebob explained his story.

Squidward mused about this. They had been persecuted for their feelings. Squidward was getting nervous. He nervously said, "Well, it can't be the same on the surface!" Squidward had seen all types of couples in Seattle.

"No it's not the same." Squidward sighed in relief. "It's worse."

Squidward then gulped. "Wait, how do you know all this?"

"Squidward, I watch the news. I've read books about what humans did to their own species. And you saw the Anti-Fish guy that came in!"

"You told me it was nothing to worry about!" Squidward said, trying to convince himself more than Spongebob, you're losing your confidence, Squiddy!

"Squidward, if you stick to yourself, you'll get by around Anti-Fishers. But let's say you pursue this. Dear Neptune man, you'll get yourself killed!" Spongebob reasoned.

Squidward turned around, eyes downcast. He cupped his chin with his left tentacle, and thought. He was Squidward Tentacles; he took charge off his life! Squidward raised his head high, and said to Spongebob, "If you don't stand behind me, so be it. I'll find someone who will." As Squidward walked off, Spongebob said to him, "I want to stand behind you, but I just can't."

-Breakline-

After Squidward had gotten off of work, he sat at home, watching TV as he gathered his thoughts. He wondered about multiple things, with the most pressing matter being how Alaxis would react to him. He decided to sketch to get his mind off of things. He first drew a field of flowers. They were Marigolds. Squidward looked in shock at his sketch, but he soon shook it off and started drawing a place, and people in the place.

He started with the walls. He did small marks to signify textural differences. He started to sketch paintings on the wall and potted plants. He drew people of all shapes and sizes, and he added a few fish folk in there too. But of all the people he drew, one girl stood out in his drawing: Alaxis.

Squidward put down his pencil and sighed in misery. He let his thoughts run wild.

'Squiddy, you've got to tell her. But I can't! You wouldn't be being honest with her if you didn't tell her. But what if she wants to stop being friends!? Squidward, you have more confidence than that! You're a great artist, you help out the environment, and you're exotic. You'd be her dream guy!'

Squidward smirked at that last thought. Even if she didn't feel the same way, Squidward was sure that she'd like him as a friend. He knew that there was only one way to find out. He called her.

-Breakline-

Squidward had asked Lax to meet him at a café in downtown Seattle over the phone, and he mentioned that he had something important to tell her. He sat inside of Buffalo Café, sipping a French vanilla coffee. It was a while before she came in, wearing a cream sweater, a denim jacket, jeans, and beige bear paw boots.

"Hi!" She greeted as she sat in the booth Squidward was in. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yeah, but first, would you like something to drink?" Squidward offered.

"Yeah, I'll have a blueberry smoothie." Squidward nodded and went to order it for her. When he came back, he set the icy blue drink in front of her, and she thanked him. "So what did you want to see me about?"

Squidward took a moment to choose his approach. He sighed and said, "Lax, I have a confession to make." He saw her eyebrows rise in interest.

"I like you." He blurted out. 'I should've thought this through.'

Alaxis was quiet after this. Squidward tried to read her face, but it was silent. He could tell that she was processing this information, and Squidward internally groaned. This was not working out well. They were both silent for five minutes, with Alaxis continuously sipping her smoothie. Squidward tried to look at anything within that time, the cars passing by the window, the other patrons, anything that would distract him.

"So?" She eventually spoke. "I like you too. You're a likeable person."

"No, see, I like like you." Squidward repeated.

"I like like you too. What're you getting at?" Lax asked.

Squidward slid a tentacle over his face. He felt like she wasn't getting it. He thought a bit more, and then said, "I might be in love with you."

Alaxis replied, "I know that." When Squidward's expression turned to bewilderment, she expounded. "A guy and a girl don't go to a carnival as just friends. It's okay; I feel the same about you."

"Yeah but - wait what?" Squidward said before her full sentence clicked. "But I mean, I'm a,"

"Normal person." Alaxis interjected. "Come on, Squidward! I like you for who you are on the inside: a talented and thoughtful person."

Squidward became even more confused. Sure, he couldn't argue about the talented part, he'd never want to, but he hardly ever considered himself, well, thoughtful! But what confused him even more was the fact that she seemed perfectly cool with his confession.

"But I don't understand." Squidward said.

Alaxis just smiled as she finished her smoothie. Then she got up and said, "I'll see you later!"

Squidward objected, "Wait a minute! Are we still friends or something?"

Alaxis left the café, and Squidward stood there completely dumbfounded. He sat back down and thought. His mind was a battlefield as he tried to wrap his head around everything. He knew three things: One, he liked her. Two, she liked him. Three, she was oddly okay with it. He really needed to talk to Spongebob, or someone that could help him. His watched beeped; it was time to get to class. He said, "Shoot!" then got up to leave.

-Breakline-

After class, Squidward pulled Spongebob aside. Spongebob smiled and asked, "What's up Squiddy?"

"I told her." Spongebob said, "Okay. What happened?"

"She feels the same. And she thinks that I'm talented and thoughtful!"

"Well you are talented." Spongebob agreed. "And you can be thoughtful I guess. You look out for your friends."

"How'd ya say?" Squidward asked.

"Remember that irate customer we delivered to? When he dissed me, you were there to back me up!" Spongebob reminded.

"I was simply fed up of ungrateful customers." Squidward clarified.

"No, Squiddy. You care about your friends, even if you don't think you do." Spongebob said. Spongebob rested a hand on Squidward's shoulder. "Look, you know I've got your back no matter what, but I'd advise you to think this through. If you pursue this, Seattle could go up in smoke."


End file.
